Dear Mr. Martin,

Now they get it.

Steve Martin 101

My name is Shelley Yates and I am a huge fan of your work. (I have

watched all of your movies and read many of your books.) I live in Pensacola, Florida, where recently you spent some time. In fact, I work at the Fish House where you and your family attempted to visit. The hostess did not recognize you and told you that it would be 45 minutes for a table, so you left. Understandably.

I was not at work on the evening that you came by, but I understand that the hostess was told, “You just turned away Steve Martin,” to which she replied, “I have no idea who that is.”

I feel that you are probably the type of guy who wouldn’t want special treatment even though you’re a famous author, actor, comedian, and musician. That you weren’t given a table immediately because you are such a huge star isn’t the issue here. What alarms me is what the hostess said. To me, not knowing you or your work is unforgivable. 

I apologize for this. I wanted to fire her. However, ignorance is another way to say opportunity, so I took it upon myself to educate all of the hostesses about you and your collective body of work. We started out with a Steve Martin fact sheet with your photograph and some career highlights. (See photo.) Then we played your hit song, “King Tut,” and made the hostesses dance like Egyptians. (See photo.) Next, we made each hostess watch a YouTube clip of your SNL skit with Mr. Dan Aykroyd and say, “I’m a wild and crazy guy.”

For certain, at this point, I feel secure in the fact that each hostess knows who you are and, should you attempt to visit the Fish House again, will eagerly find you a table as quickly as possible.

Have a nice day. 

Shelley Yates